Staying motivated isn’t easy … and we’re all pretty aware of that, right?
If it were easy, we would have likely accomplished all of our major dreams extremely early in life, and would easily accomplish any other goals without complaints, procrastination, or hang ups!
But, as we also know, this isn’t a perfect world. And in this non-perfect world, we can struggle to stay motivated to achieve our goals.
However (and this is a big however), one of the HUGE reasons we end up lacking motivation and discipline, in my opinion, isn’t due to not having a big enough goal … but, instead, not having a big enough reason.
Finding Your Reason
There is a reason I talk so much about finding your reason (sorry, had to, haha!). It’s because it is a higher motivating force than a goal.
Your “reason” is the BIG WHY behind why you’re doing what you’re doing. It typically reflects who you want to be as a person, while the goals you set are merely reflections surrounding it.
Many people lack motivation not because they don’t have a purpose (nearly everyone has one), but because their motive isn’t clearly defined OR they are afraid of it.
Why would you ever be afraid of it, you ask? Because it is going to make you take responsibility of how you’re living your life, plain and simple. And, once you see it clearly and it is adequately defined … you can’t “un-see” it. As such, you will have to act on it, or be faced with the tension and unhappiness of not acting on it, every day.
Unfortunately, most people experience this level of discontent in their lives anyway, even if they haven’t clearly defined their “why.” This is because the reason lurks in the subconscious, waiting to be known … and if you are living a life out of alignment with that purpose, it is difficult to feel true and total peace.
And this is why – even though it’s scary – defining and committing to your reason is one of the most positive, life-changing things you can do. It is the thing that will not only motivate you, but will help you get to the life you are in alignment with, which can bring you a sense of contentment.
How To Find Your Reason
I wanted to touch on this, even though the process of discovering or “knowing” your reason is highly personal. The main thing that you should know when it comes to finding your “why” is that this can often get confused with other goals.
For instance, let’s say you are looking to lose some weight, or even put on some lean mass. Obviously, this is a great goal. However … is it truly your intention? Or is there something deeper that you want, and being fit simply illustrates this thing on the outside?
Is this thing perhaps a sense of unwavering confidence? To prove to yourself that you are courageous? That you are an over-comer of obstacles? Is it to set a good example for, say, your kids?
That deeper thing is your reason. It usually transcends a smaller goal.
To find this, you may have to dig. My favorite way to do this is to simply keep asking “Why?” until you arrive at the answer (you’ll know it by how it feels).
So, you would say, “Well, I want to lose weight.”
“So I can feel better about myself.”
“Because the way I feel now makes me feel self-conscious and not proud.”
“Because it reminds me of something I don’t want to be.”
(here is an indicator your reason is near, so you can ask the relevant question):
“Who do I want to be?”
Eventually, you’ll get to somewhere in your questioning that looks like this, and you’ll be confronted with your motive. But, try not to get frustrated if the answer isn’t immediately apparent! Be compassionate with yourself, but also push yourself.
You can also find your reason by getting into the habit of observing yourself. What do you gravitate to? What things do you wish for? Why do you desire them?
Staying Committed To Your Reason
Of course, staying committed requires discipline. Some days will be easier than others. Heck, I wish I could say that every day I easily wake up 110% ready to do everything I need to do to reach my new goals! Yes, the motivation is there, and I know why I’m doing what I’m doing … but that doesn’t always mean it’s easy. There are days where it feels 10x easier to be lazy! And you know what? Those days aren’t going anywhere, which is why you commit to your higher purpose. You show up for it whether you “feel” like it or not!
Here are some tips I use to keep the motivation to strive toward my reason high:
1. Write down your reason(s) and put them on your bathroom mirror as a daily reminder to move with intent. In this way, they are the first thing you see in the morning and the last thing you see at night.
2. Take time to journal, even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes. Remind yourself of your purpose, and all of the positives that will result from you sticking to your commitment.
3. Have a partner or friend encourage you. Paulo and I regularly remind each other why we are doing what we’re doing. Having a partner or friend to chat with occasionally can reinforce your reason.
4. Celebrate the milestones. Get into the habit of setting “mini-goals” within your larger goal, and celebrate them as you hit them! After all, these achievements remind you that your “why” is valuable, and that you’re 100% capable of embodying it.
Dare to find your reason at the Dare2Be Wild In Montana Retreat (virtual OR in person)!!